Living with the Mek Tribe

So I almost never watch TV unless it has to do with Spongebob, Reading Rainbow, Fireman Sam or the news, sometimes David Letterman and Conan when I'm up late. We occasionally watch Dr. Phil, I know I know, or Lockup, Crime 360, or that silliness they have on MTV just for kicks. Anyway, I happened to be watching the Travel Channel over the weekend and got sucked into this program called "Living with the Mek". These 2 British guys, Mark and Ollie, travel the world exploring other cultures and living with different tribes. So, all these people are really very small, I wouldn’t classify them as pygmies but pretty close, or Mark and Ollie are just really tall guys. The Mek tribe consists of a lot of interesting characters. It’s neat to see how they go from being pissed that these men are coming and invading their whole world, to seeing how they are able to understand what they are doing and allowing them to really become part of their family. They are completely naked, I think the women wear a little eeny beeny piece of cloth to cover their hoohoo, and the men, after initiation wear a penis gourd that’s really long and sticks into the air with a little g-string behind it, they live on the top of the mountain in little grass huts, they hunt and fish for their food, the men sit around in their huts and talk about which women they find sexy and want for their wives, the women do all sorts of cool things and even though the men lead the tribe, you find, as in most cases, behind every great man is a great woman making sure he succeeds. It’s just so interesting to see that these people have absolutely nothing, in the way of material things, but that does not stop them from being happy with their lives, simple as we may see it, and proud of who they are and the position they see themselves in, in their tribe, in West Papua, in the world that they know. Just makes you think about other people in the world, not everyone lives like we do, so we should really be thankful for all we have.

P.S. The people in the Mek tribe pick things up with their toes, and so do I, on occasion, partly because I like to, but mostly because I am lazy and don’t want to bend down. Don was like, honey, are you secretly a monkey from the Mek tribe?? I had to laugh, can you imagine me living there???

Secrets

Secrets....So I was thinking a lot about this subject the other day...and in fact, I think of it all the time. I am a person that harbors MANY secrets, most of them NOT my own. I think it’s because I am a good listener, I also know it’s because I care deeply about friends I am close to and they know I will always be there to listen to them. They also know that if I am told that this is truly a secret, I will hold it in my mind and heart and never tell a soul. I’m talking about secret love affairs, secret babies, secret identities, secret past lives, all kinds of things that are made for a truly good book, or movie??!!! I find myself wondering if you ever truly know a person, 100 percent completely. Do you know your mate? Do you know your friends? Do you know yourself??For example, I’ll talk about my mom, Ana. One day I’m at my grandma’s house in Newport Beach a few years back. I’m flipping through all the old photo albums and I come across a picture of my mom in a white dress, about 15 years old or so. It’s adorable, I wonder what the occasion was, and why she had gloves on, and why she has the same smirk on her face that I get when I’m uncomfortable but have to smile. My grandma says, oh, that’s your mom in her debutante gown, she went to charm school and the whole bit, didn’t you know? I thought, no, I didn’t know, that was something she probably hated growing up. The mom I know is a free spirit, a hippie of sorts, a wise sage. Yet she moves with the style and grace of someone who was brought up with all the material comforts that money could buy, but as I’ve come to find out, she was missing a lot of things that money could not buy. You see, my mom was adopted, and so was my uncle, her brother, Uncle Michael. My grandfather was a lawyer and President of Farmer’s Insurance, and my grandmother stayed home and tended to the kids, as was common in those days. It was a very strict household, there were rules and there was a very high level of expectation. As soon as my mom was old enough to leave, she left and moved to Hawaii. She always knew she was adopted, and I’m sure there had been times when she was young, and my sisters and I were small, that she might have wanted to find out about her birth parents, but she was too busy taking care of us to think about herself. It was only a few years ago that she and her birth mother, Pat actually met. It turned out well, and although the whole situation could have turned out bad, it actually turned out well. There were questions only Pat could answer for my mom, and things only she could understand about their whole situation. It was a secret Pat held on to for many years, and near the end of her life, it was a secret no more. She had finally been reunited with her first born daughter after many years, and as much as we all had questions, and I even found myself getting defensive, i.e., I would never give up my child!!! No matter what, how could she have done that? the fact is, you never really know the place a person is until you are in it. In the end, my mom and Pat were able to connect and catch up on many years without each other, in a way that most people would not understand. Secrets can really take a toll on you, sometimes they do on me. There have been times where people have told me things in confidence, and I mean, serious things, life altering things where it’s like, did you really just tell me that? Now I have the burden on my heart to carry it or help them release it to where it’s supposed to be. Or to help to make things right, even though you can’t turn back time. The people closest to me know me, about my joys, my fears, my hopes and my dreams. Even though that remains true, there is still a tiny part of me that I DO NOT want to share, with anyone. It’s probably because I’ve shared too much. Is that wrong? Are you like that? Do you need to know every single thing about someone to love them? Or are some things sacred? I would love to hear your thoughts, friends!!!

Playground Drama

Another oldie but goodie...

So I go to meet the boys at the playground today after work, on our way to jump in the car and head over to Target. Kai is nicely playing with a little group of people in the sandbox. Now, this group consists of a woman and her daughter, a man and his son, and what looks like a grandmother and her baby grandson. I can see what's happening and I'm already getting annoyed by the woman who is wearing shades and making annoying smirks and comments about the kids sharing, Kai is holding someone's sand pail, and her little girl grabbed Kai's airplane. Whatever, this is what kids do, right? This is how they learn to share, right? She's going, Sophia, give the little boy back his plane, and telling my kid to give back the pail, she clearly isn't into anyone sharing or infiltrating her space. She keeps repeating herself, telling her kid Sophia to give Kai back his plane. Kai doesn't mind sharing and Sophia is clearly enjoying Kai's plane, but her mom does not want any sharing going on. It's making her nervous. I forgot to mention that this idiotic group is sitting directly underneath the slide/play area that kids run up and down on all day. So anyway, I am now calling to Kai to get away from this lame group of people because this bitch is starting to really annoy me. So he packs up all his toys and takes the pail of sand with him. He goes to put everything down so he can go down the slide one more time, but he thinks he can master holding everything and going down the slide at the same time. Mind you this is all happening in a split second, as things like this do, and he is now at the top of the slide, he trips and falls and the bag goes flying and the sand pail goes flying and all the sand falls directly through the cracks right onto the bitch. Of course, I run over and apologize, because it was actually an accident, he didn't deliberately dump it on her, he just shouldn't have had sand up there but you know what, shit happens???!!!!! She's screaming "Jesus Christ" over and over again and looking like she was ready to cry. Meanwhile the other lame members of the group are just staring blankly at her, then at us. Don grabs me so we can leave because now I'm starting to get pissed, I mean, I apologized already, that's enough. She gets up and grabs the sand pail and glares at me and now I'm like bitch, if I wasn't with my son things would be a little different. GIVE ME A BREAK PEOPLE!!!! Go the F*** back to wherever the F*** you came from with your homely ass and your dumb ass playgroup, by the way, I hate the word playgroup and the fake ass people in this city that don't know how to spend quality time with the kids they act like they don't even want and hide behind this playgroup bullshit. None of them were having a good time and looked very pained to be there. What, playing with your kid isn't as important as a mani/pedi and the latest sale at Bloomies? AND THEN, some dog comes along and starts trying to poop in the sand box, I'm like, get this flipping dog out of the kids area of the park, this isn't a DOG PARK!!!! Lesson learned: Go to playgrounds in ethnically diverse neighborhoods where people don't have perma sticks up their asses and people clean up after their dog poop. THE END.

Being Kai's mom

Some of these, like this one, I wrote awhile back...

I'm sitting here thinking about a million things as usual, feeling a little stuffed from the lovely apple crisp that I just inhaled. I know I really didn't need to eat any, but unfortunately I love good food. At least Don loves everything I make, Kai on the other hand is a little more picky, he asked for ice cream instead, oh well. So I was holding my son Kai last night trying to comfort him because something or other had just happened, he was tired and punchy and ready to go to sleep. I remembered how we used to hold him and pat him gently to sleep, when he was just a tiny baby. Anyway, thoughts just flooded my head and I felt like I was ready to cry. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with him, I loved him like nothing else in this world, and when he was born it was like the most amazing, life altering moment ever. I didn't know how much he would change me. So many memories, laughs, places we go, things we do and learn together, his beautiful blue green eyes and his beautiful little face, it's really hard to get mad at him even when he's naughty. We are re-living our childhood again, I mean, when was the last time you played with Playdoh, went down the slide on a cardboard box, swung high on the swing at the playground?? Holding him I looked far into the future and I realized he would be the one holding me, comforting me when I get old. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with work and life and trying to just remember everything and live day to day, but I put him and Don before everything as I should and I know it's hard work, but everything eventually falls into place so I don't worry as much. I love being Kai's mom, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

The real me

I just had my 37th birthday last month. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately - some things are trivial, some things are very important, some things have been sitting on the back burner for God knows how long yet I just seem to keep glossing over them and not really wanting to get them done. I haven't been working since I got laid off in April, and to tell you the truth, I have been just as busy, if not more, then when I was working. My 5 year old keeps me going - the majority of what I do revolves around his schedule, his school, his activities, play dates, homework, recreational activities, etc. as well as running the household. I'm fortunate to have a husband who loves me and deals with everything that goes along with me, attitude and all. I'm pretty difficult at times, if you know me, you know what I mean. Anyway, the one recurring theme that keeps coming back to me is - who is the REAL me? Dani, Dani girl, Danielle, Kalaiopua, mommy? All of the above.

Sometimes I feel like the real me went on vacation a long time ago when the responsibilities of adulthood came into play. I need to get her back.

Can I be a mom, wife, daughter, niece, sister, friend and do ALl of these jobs well? Am I still the person I was before I got serious with one person and became a mom? Am I doing the best possible job I can in every aspect of my life? Am I as serious as I lead you to believe? Can I be a good parent and still be a good friend? Can I listen more and talk less? Can I go back into the workforce and do what I want this time? Can I be a grownup but allow myself to act like a kid? Can I still party with the best of them? Do I even still want to? There are so many things I want to do but have a hard time hunkering down and completing them because my mind is overwhelmed with a huge to-do list. It's hard to focus because I'm too busy controlling every one else around me. Sometimes this is good, sometimes it's not. I need to let a little bit of that go, and come back to me. I need to do more things that will make ME proud, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks at this point, does it?

I need to be true to myself, and in doing that, the real me will shine once again.